Delilah. Are you still training for American Gladiators?

[There are signs that Casey tried to private this entry, but the writing is rushed and sloppy and the attempt failed. Everyone can read, instead of just Cordelia, which was the original intent.]

Sweet Jesus, Cordelia, get on IM! Aaron tried to kiss me after school today. I crushed his feeble masculine pride! And you know, whatever, he'll get over it, but Kelly is seriously going to hate me for this.

Hello. If you are a Hobbit, please comment on this entry. Thank you.

P.S.: Samwise Gamgee is a really unfortunate name. So is basically every other Hobbit name. I feel your pain, dudes. But look at it this way: your name could be Aragorn. And then, while the stubble is v. manly, you would never be as pretty as Legolas. Woe.

[Cordelia]

Ahahahahahahaha.

Cordelia. I would send this to you on IM but I have to log off now. Gotta go help Mom clean up the kitchen.

http://www.wikihow.com/Kiss-a-Girl

Kelly said she caught her brother Aaron looking at it. Aaron and Kelly are the twins from my school, right? The blonde ones, I know I've talked about them, even if I haven't introduced you.

It's HILARIOUS. I mean. W. T. F.

"You could try candles - they set a passionate mood. But be careful: don't overdo it! Girls like you for who you are, so be yourself! There is also the threat of a fire."

I am going to DIE. LAUGHING.

Men are idiots. And being a Man-Tale, I can say this. Why is there a kissing wiki?

It's New York City. Why is there no fire escape outside my window? I'm not Spider-Manning myself down the ledge to get to the one outside the Graham's window.

(Yeah, I know "Spider-Man" can't be used as a verb. Shut up. I'm doing it anyway.)

Someone: exit strategy, please? Fifth floor, no fire escape, overly watchful parents. They need to get a life, I swear to God.